Last month

Where should I start? :sigh: The last month was one of the worst times in my life. I've had to deal with so much stuff that I'm surprised I haven't gone crazy entirely. I thought a lot about if I should share, or not what happened with my family and me, in the end I chose yes.
It's very hard to talk about this... My Dad got into jail, he's under custody even though, he's innocent. Don't even want me to start talking about his so called "friends", they are all disgusting. I always knew Dad couldn't choose his friends very well but there were some men I thought we could count on if something happened, well, turned out I was wrong. And lawyers... Sweet Lord, those are all evil people, I don't even wanna talk about them.
The problem (other than my Dad is in jail) that we haven't got any money, I mean we are on zero. It helps a little that I found a job (I'll write about this later) but it's not enough. We have to pay the house and all the other bills from that and it's obviously not enough.
The job... I work at a real estate agency and it's terrible. I literally became a canvasser. I'm sick of myself and surely, it's my fault, if only I haven't got such high morals, pff... Well, at least they pay something. I work 10-12 hours a day, running around in my zone (yeah, we've got zones, isn't it sweet?), knocking on people's doors, then back to the office and call all the people in our database. I believe this guerilla tactics scare people away but that's how this agency works so I gotta do what I gotta do.
I didn't cry about in 6 years, now it seems like I've got so much tears I will never run out of them. I cry silently, histerically because of my Dad, because I hate my life, because I meet a sweet baby, oh, yep, even for that. I'm ridicolous. My nerves are so thin, I don't even know how I am still on my feet. I've got a panick attack (or it was something like that) at a public place, I cried and cried and I felt like I would suffocate, I couldn't breath. God, was that scary...
That's all for now. I try to write notes about the people I meet because human kind is the weirdest thing in the universe.